November 19, 2009

The End

Just want to indulge a little and have some fun. There is this great thread at the Message Board of 2012, the movie, at IMDB. I present here the best of the lot:

Things we learn from 2012:

  • Barack Obama is older than what he appears, or he ages rapidly after the Nobel.
  • Showing some planets and sun flares at the beginning of your movie makes it seem scientifically possible.
  • Sony products will rule the world!
  • The London 2012 Summer Olympics will be held in December.
  • A Russian couple can have fat evil carrot top ginger twins.
  • Apparently there is a Russian version of Paris Hilton.
  • Top scientists have read novels that merely sold 120-something copies.
  • Camping sucks :)
  • Cars never start when you want them to, but they can outrun earthquakes that swallow entire buildings.
  • While a plane is moving down a runway, your family can see your small little hands coming up out of a crater
  • Bring your cars instead of survival gears at the boarding. After world is over, all the highways will be empty for you to break speed limits and gas will be cheap.
  • Find breast-surgery doctors to get a perfect body and a pilot when the end of the world comes. He will fly brilliantly even when pandemonium will reign like never before and take you to safety through every possible night mare of the sky. And the best thing is, he will die when he is needed no more.
  • When collecting animals for the ark, do not collect cows, sheep or pigs (animals that provide humans with food and clothing) rather save the giraffe and the rhino. Also, pick grown-up animals, because they are easier to
  • Solar flares and eruptions on the sun will lead to the destruction of everything on earth, even the reversal of the magnetic poles, but the satellite systems surrounding the earth will keep functioning to allow us to monitor the activity. You will have excellent cell phone reception.
  • The moment your father forgives for marrying a Japanese're gonna die.
  • If the Mayans were so smart, they'd still be around.
  • If you are religious, God wont be there to save you.
  • You do NOT freeze in sub-zero temperatures after crash-landing in the Himalayas, even if you're wearing a mini skirt or a monk robe
  • We are God's video game.
  • Although you have lots of very expensive military espionage satellites in space, you'll need a guy from India to tell you that another float wave is coming.
  • A Russian girl's whistle to her dog is louder than thousands of people screaming.
  • Have skinny kids, they are easier to hoist on the gate.
  • After having escaped every natural disaster to make it to your destination, you are liable to screw it up getting through the backdoor of a ship.
  • Even the arks that save mankind have "Made in China" written on them.
  • During the end of the world China still gets the record to have the maximum population.
  • If you’re about to get hit by a big wave and you’re near a huge Buddhist gong on top of a mountain.... Go for it man. Ring the hell out of that thing!
  • When you only have seconds to save the lives of everyone, you will still have time to hug, kiss, whisper, and finally slowly move apart while still exchanging words inaudibly with your ex wife.
  • Fate always mends broken families back together by killing the step-dad.
  • John Cusack is a fish.
  • The Chinese will take time out of building ships to install cameras all over the place inside said ships. Cameras that give you great closeups.
  • The former enemies of the US will all be confined to an ark together: Japan, Russia, and China.
  • You can easily go through the worst catastrophe without the need to take off your tie.
  • The world wont end. It will just break a little.
  • But the Taliban will definitely be wiped out.
  • Someone will always come along and save your ass in the end.
  • Always think.. "I'm the f**ng protagonist here, I'm the f**ng protagonist here" and you'll be wounds free!!
  • People will watch any movie regardless of how stupid and over the top it is, as long as it has lots of special effects.
  • Why have character development when you can have explosions?
  • Reading all posts in this thread would be a better way to spend two and a half hours than actually watching the film. But, then again, we all have to watch the film to create this kind of thread. Oh, the irony.

  • And here comes the best of all: Even the Apocalypse doesn't give a *beep* about Africa.


No comments:

Post a Comment